Parenting alone

Parenting is hard with two parents, alone, it can be miserable.  I recently decided to try to potty train Kailee.  Well, if I'm honest, I was really excited when my mother-in-law offered to do it because I was DREADING IT.  Unfortunately she was unable to do it after all.  I brought home Kailee determined that we were done with diapers.  I had been so excited at the thought that I could not put it off any longer.  We began Monday around 5pm--yes I realize that might seem crazy, but I was determined and just plain done with diapers.  I won't go into details of all the accidents on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but yesterday I did have a meltdown (not in front of her) where I broke down crying just as a sweet friend called to let me vent.  She asked the million dollar question, "So why are you adding to your stress right now?"

That is a VERY good question.  Here's the honest answer:  while we have been adjusting to Brady being gone, it has been hard and I've found myself becoming more and more envious of the people around me.  I had a great life and I knew it.  I miss the life I took for granted and I was beginning to see all the negatives. I felt like so many things were going wrong and I just needed something to go right.  I try not to complain about something if I'm not willing to take action to change it--hence, my insane workout regimen which is making me quite toned.  After hearing about two close friends who potty trained their 1-year-olds in the last month, I decided I needed that.  I needed my almost-3-year-old to get the heck out of diapers.  It has been an up and down process this week but we are finally having a VERY successful day.  She's had zero accidents and finally pooped in the potty.  Let me tell ya, there were tears.  I cried in relief!  I picked her up and tossed her in the air, swung her around, cheered, and gave her about 50 M&Ms.  We called Brady and he was just as excited and praised her over the phone.

I won't go so far as to say we are done, but we have made huge progress and are committed to no daytime diapers, just pull-ups at night!

Next project: drop the pacifier or as Kailee calls it, "Myna."

XOXO,

Lazy Sunday

On Sunday, I slept in.  I know, I know, I should have gotten up and gone to church, but it was a much needed opportunity to sleep in and actually was the first time I slept in since Brady left (I have been sleeping with either the TV on or a light each night since he left which has made for less than stellar rest).  Every other time the kids have been gone overnight, I still woke up at like 7am.  On Sunday, I slept in until 11 and still have 5 hours until I needed to get the kids from my parents' house.  

So what did I do?  

I could have done some laundry (okay, I did do 1 load), I could have tidied up the house, I could have gone to the grocery store...  I didn't do any of that.  I worked out and proceeded to watch the remaining 4 episodes of Revenge on my DVR and it was WONDERFUL.  Yeah it meant I might have to brave the store with 2 wild children, but sometimes, you just gotta relax and forget your responsibilities.  

I am so grateful my parents live nearby and give me a break each weekend.  I am a social being BUT I need my alone time to reenergize and that's exactly what I got on Sunday.

And Brady comes home tonight! :)

XOXO,

Butterflies :)

As the saying goes, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."  Well, this text message this morning gave me butterflies :).  It's the little things that matter most!

XOXO,

A confession...

Thank you, Pinterest

Do you know what happens when I don't put bath time on the calendar with an alarm?  Well... They had a bath on Sunday and then not again until tonight (THURSDAY)...  In my defense, I was incapacitated on Tuesday and still felt icky last night, but I almost forgot they needed one tonight!  I did not remember until 8pm (bedtime).  There's apparently too much going on in my head.  I apparently MUST SET REMINDERS for even day-to-day things.

XOXO,

Sick & Sad

It's never fun to be sick, but it becomes especially hard when you are a single parent.  Yesterday, I became ill while at work.  A month ago, this would be no big deal.  Brady would gladly pick up both kids and take care of them while I recuperated.  Tonight, while I still feel weak and a bit icky, he would let me go to bed and rest while he cared for our kids.

Thank goodness for my parents who were able to pick up the kids, feed them and bring them home yesterday.  My mom stayed the night which turned out to be an even bigger blessing when Gavin became ill around 2am.  Dean came to pick up Gavin this morning and kept him while he recuperated so I could go back to work.  I am so grateful to my parents!  I know there are many other full time single parents who do not have the support I have.

BUT... For a moment I am having a little bit of a pity party.  When I saw Brady's car in the driveway upon arriving home, I got sad.  I wish he were here.  Not because I want him to take care of the kids for me but because I want him to cuddle with me and tell me that it's all going to be all right.  I want to feel comforted and not alone.  When I was sick as a kid, all I wanted was my mom.  Well now, all I want is my husband.  I miss him :(.  

What's making it worse is that I see all the sheets and towels--not to mention clothes--that need to be washed today.  I just can't do it.  I ate a hearty lunch but right now my stomach feels blah so I'm going to relax on the couch and watch some Dawson's Creek on Netflix.  

XOXO,

Thank you, veterans!

Thank you to all the veterans who have served our country!  I am forever grateful for the the spoiled lifestyle I can lead without fear thanks to every person who ever fought on our nation's behalf.  

And thank you to the families of veterans!  Our sacrifice and hardship are not without reason.

I am especially thankful for my husband!  I am so lucky he found and chose me :).  I love you, Brady!

XOXO,

3 Day rule

Whenever there are big changes in my life, it typically takes me 3 days of mourning for the old life before I start to feel better.  Brady left Saturday, day 1, and while I was distracted most of the day, when I drove home late in the evening, the tears began.  Then on Sunday, day 2, I cried pretty much all day and evening.  Yesterday, day 3, I cried before work and after work.  Today, I woke up a little sad, but did not feel the urge to cry.  I have had a great day for the most part (despite my students who have completely checked out and who are fighting tooth and nail to not have to do anymore work this year).  Tonight, I didn't even get overwhelmed with all the things that had/have to get done.  For example, I had to unload the dishwasher so that the maids would be able to load it when they come tomorrow.  Speaking of the maids, I had to do my part to put the house back together so the maids can thoroughly clean--the downstairs is ready to go, though I will tackle the upstairs as soon as I'm done with this post.  Not to mention the baths that I put on my calendar so I wouldn't forget to keep my children clean (in my defense, bath time has been a Daddy thing since day 1).  I also remembered to feed the dogs (that caused tears on Sunday when I forgot to feed them until like 10am) and hopefully will find time to do workout 99 tonight.

I'm tearing up right now, not because I'm sad but because I'm relieved to feel more at peace and to want to be an active participant in my life.  I have been praying--or rather, BEGGING for peace--and while our situation is not ideal, I am again able to focus on the amazing blessings around me.  I cannot tell you how much it has meant to me to receive words of encouragement from so many people the last few days (and weeks).  It really has helped me get through the beginning which to me is always the hardest part.

Now off to clean up the upstairs, which wouldn't be so bad except that I decided to rearrange the entire master bedroom last night (you may call this my new stress outlet seeing as how I don't have to clean anymore), making it necessary to go through tons of books and random things.

XOXO,